GROWING OOOOLD by Richard I. Harry

Growing old is like living a fairy tale.

Each morning I wake up on the road to Oz,

A rusty tin man waiting for a can of oil,

Creaking and cracking as I start my day, seems odd.

To exercise while listening to muscles cry,

As I stretch, groan, moan, do sit-ups and push-ups,

Shave, brush teeth, find my glasses and wonder why

Every time I run the water I start to leak.

I walk up to the park for about an hour.

You see I have to get back before the daily

Visit by Arthur and the Ritis family.

“Appetite’s great, but no meat”, says Dr. Bailey.

After I had an attack of the CRS

You know that means “can’t remember shiii”, honey

Oh! Oh! There goes the phone (a good example);

My ex says, “You forgot to send the alimony.”

At night in bed, I have to wait for you to tell

Me whether I am cumming or going.

Back to sleep, again you had to repeat.

Let’s face it – my age is definitely showing.

So I can’t hear half of what you say anyway

And I have the audacity to be bald and gray.

There is no way not to recognize, I’m told,

The fact is, I know I am Growing Oooold.

Yours truly,

Zzzzzzzzzzz