IF PHILIA WAS A DAY by Abigail Handojo

There is a moment between rest and rise

When the day’s troubles are still fast asleep,

Cowering behind closed curtains and open eyes

When it’s too early to do anything but breathe

This is where I find you, in the morning air,

Where night meets day but doesn’t speak

Senses focus, returning from life’s nightmare

And I feel the definition of “Philia” in Greek

For when you smile, my thoughts vanish

And when you laugh, I know I’m yours 

Even if I only tell you I love you in Spanish,

When the blinds are shut and so are the doors

I’ll give you my sleepless nights for Valentines

If you’ll spend your sunsets at the gas station

Counting every car that speeds by the stop signs

Talking childhood crushes and red carnations

Eyelashes fluttering like the wings of a luna moth

You’ll gently hold my sleeve but not my wrist

Tracing zodiac constellations on the tablecloth

We’ll share the evening with people who don’t exist

Lie when we say that my birthday’s in Spring,

Tell ourselves books are pillows made of poetry

Cotton reduced to written sweet somethings

Tonight, we’ll sleep on the shelves in the library