EQUAL DEPOSITION EXPOSIT by Judie Mare
In my continuing effort to declare the truth with fidelity and erudition, I find I can no longer testify.
TESTIFY: from Latin testificari, from testis, a witness. In ancient Rome, two men taking an oath of allegiance held each other's testicles, and each man held his own testicles as a sign of truthfulness while bearing witness in a public forum.
The expression of Women's rights has been set back by leap years of omission. If baring our most protected genitalia, not being anatomically endowed for a similar kind of oath taking, any woman attempting such could be accused of sexist exposition or harassment.
Therefore, not desiring any resulting loss of reputation, I must ovarify!
OVARIFY: from Latin ovum, egg. In the female anatomy, ovaries equate testicles (testis) of the male anatomy, and while one cannot hold ovaries in one's hands by which to swear, a woman placing her hands over the exterior abdominal location of her ovaries for oath swearing, should be recognized as valid as placing her right hand on a Bible . . . even if she is post-hysterectomy.
Ovarify must be included in our lexicon for alternate gender use as surely as the proper pronoun she is for he.
