GROWING OOOOLD by Richard I. Harry
Growing old is like living a fairy tale.
Each morning I wake up on the road to Oz,
A rusty tin man waiting for a can of oil,
Creaking and cracking as I start my day, seems odd.
To exercise while listening to muscles cry,
As I stretch, groan, moan, do sit-ups and push-ups,
Shave, brush teeth, find my glasses and wonder why
Every time I run the water I start to leak.
I walk up to the park for about an hour.
You see I have to get back before the daily
Visit by Arthur and the Ritis family.
“Appetite’s great, but no meat”, says Dr. Bailey.
After I had an attack of the CRS
You know that means “can’t remember shiii”, honey
Oh! Oh! There goes the phone (a good example);
My ex says, “You forgot to send the alimony.”
At night in bed, I have to wait for you to tell
Me whether I am cumming or going.
Back to sleep, again you had to repeat.
Let’s face it – my age is definitely showing.
So I can’t hear half of what you say anyway
And I have the audacity to be bald and gray.
There is no way not to recognize, I’m told,
The fact is, I know I am Growing Oooold.